Why Husbands Must Live With Their Menopause Mothers Before Marriage

      Husbands must spend their next annual work leave or vacation with their menopause mothers if they never did before marriage.

      With or without issues between love partners, husbands must have lived with their menopause mothers for a minimum of three months before marriage. Otherwise, wives must encourage or lure their husbands to spend a few months with their menopause mothers before returning. Most husbands did not spend a lot of their adult life with their mothers before marriage. This is because men leave home for education, get a job shortly after and get married later. Even those who did spend some adult life with their parents did so when they were not financially independent and not taking care of any other person. Wives are loving and caring for their children and husbands. They wish to treat their husbands as their ‘babies’. However, husbands are men first. These kind gestures can be a source of issues for loving partners for wrong reasons. A wife asking a husband about his health when he seemingly shows signs of sickness can become an issue that can take a month to solve. It is imperative for women to encourage or lure their husbands to spend a few months with the husband’s mother either together or the man alone. The reasons why men must be encouraged to spend a few months with their menopause mothers are as follows.

      To start with, mothers are very caring for their kids. They become more caring for their adult children, especially when there are no new kids to breastfeed. This extreme love or care for men by their menopause mothers is reminiscent of how the wife intends to care for him as a husband. Self-conscious husbands will indeed find a resemblance between the mother and the wife. It must be noted that the reactions of the husband towards the mother will most likely be how he reacts to the wife. However, the man would in a way reduce the perception of inconvenience being caused by his wife due to the wife’s loving heart to care for him. In the end, the tensions that accompany such cases will be reduced

      Secondly, some menopause mothers talk more than they did before menopause when their sons were living with them. Husbands experiencing this could treat women or wives more differently than without the experience of living with their menopause mothers. Complains from most men is that wives or women talk too much as if their mothers are not women. Without the reality of husbands spending time with their menopause mothers, perceptions of their partners with respect to how much they talk would be worse and unnecessary issues develop from it.

      Husbands spending time at their menopause mothers’ home will reveal to men how or what women consider as taking care of the home. The husband is likely to be told what his mother considers as his father’s effort towards his upbringing. The possible complaints from the mother concerning the father would also inform the husband what responsibility to take, when he returns, to be considered later in life as having performed his responsibilities that the mother complained about regarding the father.

      In fact, any responsible man who spent a few months with a menopausal mother will return to a loving home.

      There is a bad side to most situations. Therefore, a husband spending a few months with his menopausal mother may return wounded with frustrations he suffered at the hands of the mother. The man may be viewing his mother, who he was uncomfortable being with, inside the wife. Moreover, the words and reactions he could not express to the mother may now be expressed to the wife. In situations like this, the wife must debrief the husband on his return from his menopausal mother. In the debriefing process, the wife may get to know most of the unexpressed feelings of the husband while he was with his mother and the wife will be conscious of that and know it is just a transfer of anger. The wife could then remind the husband of the debrief information when the husband is calm and relaxed. Most responsible men should understand their transfer of anger and realise their wife is only behaving like a mother, who may be worse.

      There should also be a reason why wives must spend few months of their adult life, when they are financially independent, with fathers and/or menopause mothers.

      Wives also need to know the history behind their fathers roles in their upbringing. This information would be a guide to the wives’ demand from their husband either financially or any other role. A wife who found out from their fathers what the father considers as the mother’s flaw in the their marriage could be a game changer in most marriages.

      Though every marriage is and should be unique, recieving a catalogue of expectations from the perspective of parents before and during marriage could guarantee a minimum level of a peaceful and loving home. For maximum level of peaceful and loving home, the work must be done by both partners

      By: Asterisks

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